Friendship-the real deal or just another scam?

Way back in the third grade, when we were studying and learning about poetry, I wrote a poem about friendship. I am currently looking for that poem, but there is a section of it that I have never forgotten, even more than 20 years later. So, here are those lines I once wrote about friendship.

A friend is someone always there,
Whenever you may need.
Someone you can turn to.
Just look for them, you'll see.
©1989

There is more to this poem. I do hope that I find it and can post the entire thing. Meanwhile, you may be wondering:

A-why I am posting it
B-what exactly does the blog title mean.

So, here's the thing. At 9 years old, I understood the truth about what it took to be a true friend. I understood the meaning of friendship. Recently, I have been seeing all kinds of posts on Facebook that basically say that true friends can pick up right where they left off and that it will be like no time at all has passed regardless of the time or distance between you. I am sure you have seen similar messages. It goes on to say something about how many of us have true friends like this.

The truth is that it is easy to pick up right where you left off. If you left off at high school graduation, then you will spend a certain amount of time recapping what has transpired in your life since you did graduate. Did you go to college, are you married, how many kids do you have, and where do you work can all be great questions to open up a conversation. Many people confuse this conversation with proof that this friendship is rekindled. But, it takes so much more than that.

Friendship, like any relationship, requires hard work. You must nurture it. It must be fed regular healthy doses of kindness, love and tenderness. You must actually be there for the person when they truly need you. But more than that, if you are truly their friend, then chances are they won't need to tell you that they need you. A strongly built friendship will leave you able to anticipate their needs. Do they need to be left alone? A true friend can understand this. When they are hurting, not only can a true friend see their pain, but they can also feel it.

So, how is it that at 9 years old, I understood what it took to be a friend, but so many adults don't seem to comprehend? I am sorry if that sounds awful or like I am being down on people, but I have watched so many people come in and out of my life as what we call "fair weather friends" meaning that they are there when things are going good, but when the "weather" turns and I truly need someone to lean on for just a moment, suddenly they are gone.

Facebook and other social media outlets have only added to this epidemic of "friend scams." It's the never ending quest to show how many people you know. In high school, everything was a popularity contest. I was never one to join in on these contests. I am me, will always be me and either you like me or you don't, but I won't change who I am for you or anyone else. This is my attitude, this is my belief. Like everything I believe in, it is unshakable. I will not bend myself to conform to anyone else's belief of who I should be.

So, do you participate in the friend scam? Do you collect people you don't really know just so your number of friends is bigger than the next guy's? Do you have a true friend out there? Is there someone that you know would always be there for you, day or night? Who would you call if your world was falling down around you? Would they answer? Could they give you what you need?